INTERVIEW W JAMES ST FINDLAY FOR THE WHITE PUBE'S NANNY CAM FILM SCREENING *

 

can you tell me about the video u submitted for Nanny Cam?

 

I was reading about this Joanna Newsom song called "En Gallop" once and I read this story somebody had written about how the song reminded them of when their house burnt down. They'd had two dogs that had been caught in the fire, along with loads of pigeons that lived in their attic. The guy said that listening to the song reminded him of walking around the grounds of his burnt down house, with the smell of burnt wood and feathers in the air. I loved that image, of somebody walking around the charred black floorplan of a former home, listening to this sweet and sad song. I guess that's kind of how last winter felt for me baby, and the footage in the film was all taken whilst staying at friends houses, or out for walks either on my own or with somebody. I had no idea what i wanted the film to be while I was making it, I was just compiling these videos and songs I'd made and hoping it all worked out. It's different from most other things I've made, but watching it back i think it really reflects the bleak but deliriously hopeful atmosphere last winter.

 

what does it feel like to be outside-outside in nature on ur own?

 

I love it and have always loved it and hope that I will always continue to love it. I watch dogs flounder in the muck and I watch sunlight part the leaves of trees and sometimes (once) I lie down, I rest my head on a mound of blue-green moss beside a deer fence and I try and fall asleep. I was recently on a residency on an island off the coast of scotland which was completely silent. There were plankton in the water that, if you dipped you hand in and shook it about, glowed brightly like pieces of glitter dropped off the pier. I should have leapt in! I should have let myself fall back into that water but I didn't! 

 

do you have any pets? if yes what u got if not what would you like?

 

I have never had a pet, I have never had to truly care for another living thing in the sense that without me it would die. I have helped friends with tasks, assisted people I care about, but never have I had an animal or being which relies on me entirely to survive. If I could have a pet I'd have a soft and gentle dog that would walk patiently beside me with no need for a leash. As I grew old, the dog would remain the same, and then, upon my death bed I would give a signal and it would consume me graciously and carry me with it for the rest of it's life!

 

do you think you get seasonal affective disorder? i 100000% do. summer is a relief. you know how cells reproduce n your body is supposed to be a new body every 7 years, that’s how i feel after winter.

 

I don't know anyone who doesn't feel sad in winter. Although beautiful, winter a dark and sad time of year. I have such a loathing for january and february, I don't understand how those months are enjoyable. Also I think your skin cells are fully regenerated after 7 years but your skeleton takes about a decade to SWITCH OVER to UPGRADE. In that sense I've had two skeletons so far (working on number three right now). I just watched a video about how deep the ocean really is (over 35,000 ft deep at it's deepest known point) and in the video there was a little animation a guy swimming (for scale). He was me in winter, deep deep down in The Abyss (aka: when the ocean is about 16,300 ft deep) frantically swimming up through november, december, january and february and surfacing in march.

 

what’s the best exhibition experience u have had?

 

I went to the berlin Bienalle last year and there were loads of really beautifully installed pieces. One of them was a film called "The Heart Wants What It Wants" by Cecile B Evans and it was this huge T-Shaped pier in a flooded gallery with a massive screen that reflected in the water and you wore wireless headphones and I felt very immersed in it. I also saw a Ryan Trecartin film where you sat on these kind of bunk beds that had almost gym matresses instead of beds and it felt like a strange hotel. 

 

The best for me though in terms of how much I felt was seeing Marina Abramovic's "512 hours" at The Serpentine in 2014. I feel like a lot of people I've met really hated it, and found it shallow and cult-like and pretentious and I was set out to feel like that but there was a point at which she locked eyes with me, took my hand, walked me slowly to a bed, and tucked me in, and in those few minutes with her I felt totally and utterly cared for, I felt alone in the space with her and regardless of whether it was or not it felt so genuine. Even just to have my hand held and my eyes looked into was so special, not because she was famous or an artist I particularly admire, but because not since childhood have I felt so looked after by somebody. I fell asleep for a while and then left with my friend. 

 

amazing amazing

i love your writing

have you ever thought about writing a book? I have but i find it hard to talk in fiction.

 

I'd love to write a book but I reckon it'd b a load of small bits rather than one long story 

 

what's the best art thing you’ve ever made?

 

I did a performance in my final year of graphic design where I fed everyone soup, and there was a paddling pool and I had a wife who was pregnant. my brother played music and I sung whilst drumming on my wife's back and she sung and her voice juddered and ululated to the rhythm and it was like an angel! there's a video but I haven't put it online yet. everyone was well fed, soothed and received a little clay baby at the end. one person even swallowed their gift in a fit of complete euphoria! the atmosphere was great, the meal was delicious and the whole thing felt REAL like not just a performance but a REAL EXPERIENCE. I loved it, and none of my tutors came which was nice because I always really loathed their presence and felt unable to genuinely enjoy myself when they were around. it wasn't marked and it made no impact on my final grade which was bittersweet, but ultimately I wasn't doing it for my course I was doing it for MY BABIES (friends, loved ones, self). 

 

what music have you been listening to lately?

 

recently my friend sent me the song from a Wu Tsang video which is this insane saxophone piece called "Adjust" by a guy called Bendik Giske and it's unlike anything I've heard before. I wanna swim in it and I wanna die in it and I also want to eat it. 

 

and finally can u link me to a song you really feel is meaningful n inside ur heart?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYcgCiWAv8c

mega underrated nina babe tune

*

jamesstfindlay.com

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{ 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔓𝔲𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔢𝔵𝔦𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔲𝔰 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔥 𝔳𝔦𝔞 𝔓𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔬𝔫. 𝔚𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔡𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔧𝔬𝔟𝔰 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔓𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔴𝔢 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔲𝔞𝔩 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 - 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔢𝔴𝔰 𝔫 𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔬 𝔬𝔫. 𝔄𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔱'𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔲𝔰 2 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔶 𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔦𝔤 𝔣𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔬𝔯 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰, 𝔭𝔲𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔠 𝔬𝔯 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔢. 𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔶 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔰 - 𝔴𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔡𝔬 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔢 𝔮𝔲𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔭𝔲𝔱; 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔣𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢. }

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