DRIVE-THRU ART: Why is the last thing i want to be romantic?

 

I go to the gym every other day, spin class, treadmill, la la la. Once a week, though, I’ll run down real world canals, and get heavier. Masturbate with porn, but when I close my eyes/when I eat in instead of falling through the drive-thru, I am wetter,,in slow-mo sequence I am shown latent treasure and then I struggle to open Chupa Chups, twisted furiously. I have been having wild realisations all week: that I can cut people and problems out of my life comfortably because my parents forced me to abort a dysfunctional romance as a 13 y/o; realised that if I was a character in a cartoon I would be the sexually-frustrated, enthusiastic, vegetarian shark in Finding Nemo. We just have the same shiny, evil teeth.

 

When I make my art things, I am the pre-drinks hostess with the mostessss. I want to inebriate you but also!!! there is food in the cupboard if you think it would be *sensible* to drink on a blown-out stomach. I am generous with my ART MEANING but it is also indulgently SUPERFICIAL. What are you in the mood for? - - and this one or the other, all-you-can-eat buffet is not ambivalence, it is my generosity, some comfort food. tbh if you’re not comfortable, I can’t be either. all v selfish, rly.

 

Evening fixes/binge Buffy - - did you know it is the most written about TV show? That you can take Buffy Studies? That there is a Buffy symposium this summer in London?/organic porn, I wonder if the actress names and shames bitter DM boys. I attend a lecture on the violence of motherhood in Fifty Shades of Grey, so psychological, and the body at the lectern snubs the books she has pulled all this ACADEMIA out of. I write my BA dissertation on a Transformers theme park ride. I wonder if I’m a Pop Culture Cheerleader, a Pop Culture Miner (gotta be the latter). I giggle because ‘a 2011 study showed that the actual amount of food consumed increases with the price charged for the buffet,’ and I spent less than 10 minutes at the £13.50 Electronic Superhighway exhibition before I bailed - I have a membership though, and today I wasn’t hungry.

 

On some gallery afternoons I’m like, let me hoe with this art, smash and dash. Always the weekends. Last week Zarina said some art is a ‘shower not a grower.’ A few days later, ZarunaM, her twitter bot, asked, ‘why is the last thing I want to be romantic?’ I’m going to return to the exhibition when I can slow down bc I just cant find romance in the drive-thru. Is there any? Can you email and tell me stories so I’m not just speaking into the void plz 

 

SO I dunno why sometimes I want pop-tarts and sometimes I want cottage pie. I don’t know why I’m wrapping this piece in food tortilla analogy,,,,lol I guess my playing with words is bc I got sweet-shiny-evil teeth, and this P.S. reveal-finale is, er, the nutritional information you sometimes-sometimes check on the back of Quorn chicken pieces, like reading Shampoo small print, like following Sasha Grey on Twitter, just like reading the press release and studying it for answers when all you want is to hit it and quit it...:((((

Jan 30th 2016

{ the only reason The White Pube can still exist is because some of our readers choose to support us each month via Patreon. We sometimes do talks and other jobs but Patreon is how we get paid for the actual writing here - the reviews n art thoughts and so on. And it's so important to us 2 that we can stay independent critics without ties to big funders or institutions, public or private. Thank you for being our old timey patrons - we'll do our best to produce quality output; write stuff that is thoughtful and sincere. }

  • Black Twitter Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon